What is the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness?
The aggressive communicator invades the space of the listener,speaks in a threatening manner and may throw objects,glare or attempt to intimate the listener. He or she often attempts to blame the listener for whatever the source of the disagreement may be.
The assertive communicator speakes in a reasonable tone, establishes eye contact with the listener, uses "I" messeges, and clearly states his or her needs, feelings and requests. He invites the listener to work towards a mutually satisfotory resolution of the conflict.He consciously influences the listeners by his own behavior. He domonstrates skills in emotional intelligence.
Two important keys to effective assertiveness are cordiality and cheerfulness. These two attributes are wonderfully disarming: who can resent someone who asks something of them in a genuinely friendly way-or who gently refuses a request that would cause unnecessary inconvenience? Assertiveness doesn’t mean developing a snarling, gruff demeanor. That’s aggressiveness. Assertiveness means standing up for your rights politely, effectively, and in a way that is most likely to elicit the desired behaviors in others. Being cheerfully assertive actually means that you will be most likely to maintain the goodwill of others. People respect those who stand up for their rights in a polite, yet confident way. Assertiveness means allowing the other person to “save face,” while saving face yourself.
