What is Imago Therapy?
The word “Imago” is the Latin word for “image”. Imago theory explains the chemistry of attraction, why it fades, why we argue and fight and repeat the same core scenes over and over again. It also provides a very effective array of tools for reconnecting. This reconnection is what Imago Therapy is all about. When you fell in love, you felt whole, like the other person completed you. This phase of the relationship is known as “romantic love”. It feels amazing, positive, hopeful and delicious. In romantic love, you’re happy together and cannot imagine life without this person. After a while, we habituate to the chemistry and often find that we’re in a relationship with somebody who drives us nuts! What happened? Who changed? Who ARE you and what did you do with the person I fell in love with? This phase of love is known as “the power struggle”, and it can be devastatingly painful. Imago Therapy teaches us how to use conflict as a portal to the far more rewarding phase known as “conscious
Imago therapy is couples therapy developed by Dr. Harville Hendrix and described in his best selling book Getting the Love You Want. He believes, as I do, that committed exclusive partnering such as marriage has as its purpose, the healing of childhood wounds. It further suggests that we are attracted unconsciously to partners who possess both the positive and negative traits of our childhood caregivers as part of our self healing process. It also holds that since all childhood hurts occur through these relationships, one has to heal the injuries relationally. Finally, the role of the therapist is to provide a container so that the couple can re-visit their pain and provide a variety of interventions to heal this. The partners will eventually use the skills provided to continue the journey of relational healing with each other.
