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Do real vampires sparkle?

April 26, 2017legends monsters paranormal phenomena sparkle Vampires

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Do real vampires sparkle?

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Most certainly not. REAL vampires dress like rich Englishmen, huck glasses of brandy in the fireplace while recounting the horrors of war from five hundred years ago. REAL vampires have sexy long hair, creepy looking claws, turn into bats, wolves, mist, owls and possibly, goats- and they listen to Carmina Burana. REAL vampires curse God and all the Saints, and they drink human blood and live in creepy ass old castles. REAL vampires charm and deceive The Devil, not teenage girls. But they do not sparkle, unless it is with anger, vehemence, sorrow and wisdom.