Would like to have Anais Nins Risk poem translated into French?
Translating a poem always raises issues of taste, but the French you have is very unclear, and probably ungrammatical (the sense is so obscure that one can’t be sure even if the syntax is faulty). This is better: Puis arriva le jour oú le risque de se garder serrée en bouton te faisait plus de peine que le risque qu’imposait fleurir. Something you need to watch is that bourgeon (in your first version) is a bud on a bush or a hedge, a flower bud is un bouton. I think Anais Nin would have thought of herself as a flower, not an appleblossom. …. [Edit] Get a native French speaker to render all three of these translations back into English for you. I think you will be surprised how different they all are.
