Will a trial separation help?
Unfortunately your husbands talk of suicide is quite a cowardly thing to say & do! And it’s his way of saying he can’t face the thought of losing you! He’s only thinking of himself & not giving you any consideration. I believe with his verbal abuse is a criminal offence (it is in my country) & if your strong enough you can have him charged, providing you have enough evidence,But in most cases the Police & lawyers normally listen to the woman’s voice against any husbands & the men just don’t stand a chance! I suggest you have a talk with your local Police if it continues & you might also tell of his threatening talk of suicide as that is also I believe a form of verbal abuse! I don’t think having a trail separation helps in marriage disputes. Either you separate or you don’t I don’t like telling people to separate unless there is something drastically wrong with any marriage, but in your case, it’s different…. Only you know deep down whether your up to it or not!! You do what you feel
The one thing you can guarantee on this planet is change. Its everywhere happening all the time and our lives are no different. Most people hate change, they spend most of their life’s trying really hard to maintain some kind of status quo, but its always bound to fail, life hates stateliness. So with this in mind your husband is full of fear, he in a sense hates any change. So what I suggest you do is change his life very gradually, you need to help him see that without you and the kids his life will actually be better than it is at the moment. If you attempt a short sharp break he will hate it and fight you all the way. So by having a slow break, like time apart the separation you really should have will happen slowly.
What is a trial separation? You are either separated or not. Which is funny, because neither is supposed to do anything outside of the marriage; yet, you are separated so normal marriage activities cease. It is like putting your life on hold without any clear idea of the outcome. In my experience, the person that initiated the separation/divorce had issues as well. Both people need to seek counseling apart and marriage counseling.
Part of the reason that you two are arguing is that you are both being hugely prideful. (or him at least) How is a relationship supposed to come closer together when one or both are unwilling to settle issues? The heat of a downward spiraling marriage is hard enough to deal with. Separation is a wonderful thing to accomplish much without the real destruction of divorce. But here’s the problem: As you are not willing to really work ON your marriage now, what makes you think that you will both work on it when separated? It’s harder to work on it when separated because you don’t have the day-to-day interaction to find resolution to problems. The reason that your marriage is failing is because you two cannot, peacefully, settle disputes. That is, you do not respect each other’s boundaries in personal relationship. This post-modern relativism which we are in only confounds conflict resolution. If you proceed into a separation (which I fully agree with), you HAVE to establish deep and meanin
