Why is communication so stressed in Tantra?
Many of us believe that we’re great lovers, and that we can read our partner’s mind about what he or she likes in sex. As tantric practitioners, however, we discover the nuances of pleasure that we miss when we’re only goal-oriented, so we develop the ability to ask. The person who’s asked sometimes has to overcome his or her shyness or embarrassment in explaining what is most pleasurable. Some people are so afraid to ask for what they want that they don’t allow themselves even to become aware of how their needs are not being fulfilled. Lots of patience and gentle coaxing can help the receiving lover become aware and express his or her needs, and slowly open up to more pleasure.When we communicate fully and with great honesty, the results are wonderful. Usually our partners love giving us what we want. Giving us pleasure increases their pleasure. Asking for what we want (and receiving it) increases our trust in each other, and therefore our closeness and love.
