Why do sexist rules of etiquette still survive?
Historically, men treated “ladies” (upper class women) differently than a common street tart. Opening a door, pulling out a chair, etc. is a way to recognize the social class of the “lady.” Men wouldn’t pull out the chair for a scullery maid let alone be caught taking a meal with her. And let’s not even talk about the definition for the word “lady.” That being said…rules of etiquette exist so that people can socially interact in a way that’s predictable and comfortable. As a modern woman I think some of these rules of etiquette remain simply because they’re familiar to everyone and therefore it makes people comfortable with their roles in social situations particularly when they’re interacting with people they do not know well. From my own experience these rules relax or even go out the window once people are more familiar with one another. Or at least that would be my preference. I open doors for men all the time and quite frankly, I don’t need to be treated like a little girl who c
I agree with you. As far as etiquette goes, it’s usually not given much thought, and there’s no malicious intention, even though it’s not fair. I think it comes from the idea that men are the protectors of women… at least, this is what a guy I know said about it. The sexism in etiquette goes both ways, too. For example, I have to sit with my legs closed completely, which, after all these years of doing it, still feels unnatural, and I’ve been doing it less, because it feels better that way. I’m more bothered by worse things than etiquette, though – for example, I’ve seen girlfriends slap their boyfriends, and it’s tolerated, even though it’s just as unacceptable as when a guy slaps a girl. The door-holding thing is sweet and polite; however, I think it should go both ways. If I see a man behind me when I go through a door, I’ll hold it for him. Why not? And when my boyfriend takes me to a movie, he pays for it, and when I take him out somewhere, I pay for it. I think it should be equ
:] Because women are smart enough to let their men hold close their egoistic rules of sexism when it benefits us. We’re sort of torn between laughing and telling them off lightly for being so silly as to think we can’t do it ourselves and happy that they are so foolishly considerate as to serve us when we don’t need it. But yes, we’re leaning quite heavily toward the latter. Other question: They’re just sort of playfully joking when they say things like that. They don’t really mean like they yelled at them and shook their finger at them when they forgot and chucked dog treats in their mouth when they accomplished the etiquette of servility. They probably just mean that they said a sentence or so about how they liked politeness. By “my man” they mean “my boyfriend/husband.” It’s just a fun little phrase to say.
