Why do perpetrators lie, and why aren survivors believed?
A. Most of us were told one, or both, of two lies after we were abused: – it never happened. – you made it up. The implication of this was that we were: – delusional (i.e., crazy), or – liars. Silence benefits only the abuser. Secrecy enables a perp to escape justice. But if a victim does speak up, the abuser will usually try to avoid facing the consequences of his/her actions by discrediting the victim’s testimony. Such invalidation of a victim’s testimony is often not much of a challenge. At the start of the healing process, many survivors are emotional wrecks – usually displaying extremely erratic beehaviour and often in tandem with addiction to various substances and/or behaviours. Who wants to believe someone who appears to be falling apart at the seams? The vested interest of perpetrators and those who support them feeds on a survivor’s abuse-driven behaviour.
