Why do people tend to gloss over pregnancy losses?
Pregnancy loss, by its nature, is very intangible. It’s not the loss of a known person. That makes it more difficult to define and therefore talk about. We also have so much controversy right now around abortion, and there’s a real reluctance to talk about the grief that can accompany abortion. Is there a difference in how a person grieves if they’ve had an abortion or miscarriage? There is a difference. In abortion, the loss is chosen, and that often adds an extra layer of guilt for people to emotionally resolve. But I haven’t seen any difference in the intensity of the grieving between the two. Especially in the case of genetic abortion or multi-fetal reduction, where people choose to abort a wanted child. People are often very torn about the decision. In your book, you encourage people to make their losses more tangible. It’s a critical part of beginning the grieving process. I like to ask my clients to recall the fantasies they had about this particular baby. For example, did they
