Why do couples start fighting more during the commitment phase of a romantic relationship?
The thing about the commitment phase is, you’ve finally gotten some distance between you and those idealizations of the person that you’re with, the reality phase has kind of taken care of all of that. So as you’re negotiating within your commitment with somebody, working out who has to do what and also starting to play out things from your past. This person now feels more like family to you, and so the things that you haven’t been able to work out from your childhood, you start unconsciously trying to work out with this new person you’re with.
