Why did the wine and cheese become free?
The wine and cheese was complimentary because I stole it from the fine establishment known as Whole Foods. The habit started one day when I wanted a Pink Lady Apple and the line was out the door. I just decided to walk right out the door with it — it was like an Oliver Twist apple — and after that I decided I would just steal everything I saw, ever. Did you eventually get caught? Yes. It was my friend’s birthday and I wanted to throw a fantastic wine and cheese party. But I got a little greedy — I was a little hubris that day — and didn’t adhere to my strategy that carefully. So on my way out, a security guard stopped me and escorted me into the back room, where chaos ensued. How did Whole Foods handle the situation? It was really bizarre. It kind of had the feel of a dark comedy. I didn’t really take the whole thing seriously, and they thought the situation was silly. They only called the police because I had stolen over $100 worth of items. I think it was something like $101. The man
