Why can it be so emotionally debilitating for NTs to live with Aspie partners, parents, children and siblings?
Remember that NTs rely on connecting and reciprocity to define themselves within the relationship. So when the person you love does not respond to your bids for affection or attempts to share your inner world, you come to doubt your perception of reality. Slowly your self-esteem is eroded and you come to believe your AS family member is inconsistent and abusive. You walk on eggshells wondering what abuse the AS parent or spouse will dish out next. If your mate, child or parent has not yet been diagnosed, you do not know that they have a developmental disability. Using the normal NT relationship skills you keep trying to reach them or solve the problem and often blame yourself when you fail. So you resort to coping rather than resolution and often this creates severe depression or extreme resentment.
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