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Why Are Fathers Important?

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Why Are Fathers Important?

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Mothers and fathers parent differently. Mothers are more verbal, fathers more physical; mothers encourage caution, fathers are more challenging of achievement and independence; the play of fathers tends to be more unpredictable and surprising, the mothers more calm and familiar. When two month old babies see their father approaching, they tend to scrunch up their shoulders, open their eyes wide, and breathe more quickly, anticipating excitement. When they see their mother approaching, they tend to relax their shoulders and lower their eyelids. Fathers also help teach their children how men and women should treat each other, and fathers help their children learn about the world outside the family. Mothers and fathers do seem to form a natural compliment to each other, and so we need to send a more compelling message to men as to the critical role they play in the lives of their children. And we need to talk more openly about the importance of marriage. Manda Zand Ervin of the Iranian Ch

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The Good News: You have spent decades studying father-child relationships. What has most impressed you about those relationships? Dr. Ross Parke: The most impressive thing is fathers are finally waking up to the fact that they do matter, and society is also recognizing it. Fathers as well as their wives are realizing fathers do play a unique and distinctive role not only in child rearing but in sharing the burden of daily child care as well, and that wasn’t the case 30 or 40 years ago. GN: What is the most encouraging trend about the father-child relationship? RP: It is the recognition that fathers are not only important to kids, but that fathering is good for men as well as good for their partners. I think it is a major shift. As men have become more concerned about balancing work and family, they have recognized the enormous benefits, rewards and satisfactions from being a good parent. They see that the emotional investment they make in their children comes back to them in terms of m

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There appear to be several reasons. First, mothers and fathers tend to parent differently – and these differences are found not only in the U.S. and Western nations, but across cultures and throughout the historical record – almost as if such differences are part of an innate script, written in human nature. Beginning at the birth of a child, for example, mothers tend to be more verbal with their children, whereas fathers are more physical. The play of fathers also tends to be more unpredictable and surprising, whereas mothers tend to stick with calm, familiar routines. Babies notice the difference: when two-month-old babies see their dad approaching, they tend to scrunch up their shoulders, open their eyes wide, and breathe more quickly, anticipating excitement. When they seen their mum approach, they tend to relax their shoulders and lower their eyelids. But play is not the only area where moms and dads differ. Mothers also tend to encourage caution, whereas fathers are more challeng

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