Who Should Get a Surreal Life Sentence?
by Ben Katner • Michael Jackson: If the gloved one is so perturbed about ABC’s “misleading” docu about him, he should jump at the chance to show the world what it’s really like living with Michael Jackson. After all, what better way to dispel his distorted image than by revealing that the King of Pop reads on the throne just like the rest of us. Plus, maybe he’d get lucky and be assigned to ’80s sidekick Lewis’s empty bed. • Shannen Doherty: We can only hope that Miss Anger Management would stir up half the trouble on the Life set that, according to legend, she did behind the scenes at Beverly Hills, 90210 and Charmed. Even if she doesn’t, we’re still pretty much guaranteed that, were the host of Sci Fi’s upcoming Scare Tactics reality series to break out knitting needles a la Carteris, it would be for purposes far more frightening than making a scarf. • Willie Aames: Lord, have mercy! Once the resident pin-up boy of Eight Is Enough he was mop-topped middle son Tommy Bradford this born
