Who should come first in our stepfamily, my spouse or my children?
Why would children always come first? Sometimes the spouse needs to know they are important, too. And as the kids grow, they need less and less focus on them, as they are *supposed* to be preparing for a life on their own. If momma always wipes up after them, they never learn to do it themselves. I don’t know anywhere that is decent that says ‘ALWAYS put your child first. What they say is put your FAMILY first. That includes your spouse. Sometimes one needs to know they are the focus of a person’s attention, sometimes others do. If you sacrifice your spouse in favor of the children, soon you won’t have a spouse. Yes, there are times a spouse should come first. And yes, there are times a child should. But to always put the child first gives the child a skewed sense of self-importance. It makes them think that they are the most important thing in the world. And that will do them more harm than good. Kids need to know they are important, yes. But they need to know that they are not always
