who lives in a metaphor under the sea?
When I was little, I was one of those kids who was pretty sure I would grow up to be a genius. Not a scientific genius, per se, but I was convinced that at some point in my life, I would be wearing all-black in a non-gothic way and I would use words like ‘erroneous’ and ‘pulchritude’ in my everyday life. I would be the sort of person who would be featured in magazines for my epicurean tastes and undeniable sophistication. I practiced for this future daily by devouring big words and chatting up as many grown-ups as I possibly could. I was on the road to a great and intellectual future. Having said this, I would like to tell you that I think Spongebob Squarepants is a very good television show. Ha, take THAT, snooty-ass little Past-Self! Eat it! You’re a grownup now and you don’t even really like Dickens that much any more! You like SPONGEBOB. That’s right, I can see you squirming over there in your coke-bottle glasses and Mary-Janes. You can barely stand the phrase, can’t you? It sends
