Who Is Behind Evergreen Mind Control?
The mind control plot is the evil brainchild of supposedly liberal, peace-loving hippies who live in the Mods. But do not be deceived! They are not what they seem. Oh sure, they smell like hippies, alright, but they certainly are not. In fact, we believe that they are using the pungent smell of patchouli to mask the MIND CONTROL PHEROMONES they wear on their bodies to aid in subverting innoncents with their mind control rays. These HIPPIE ZOMBIES are really under the control of FASCIST REPUBLICANS who subvert liberals by turning them into apathetic loser counter-culture consumers, completely unable to resist RIGHT WING efforts to control the minds and souls of every sentient being on the planet.
