Who got the idea that mothers and daughters could be best friends?
Susan Morris Shaffer: It’s usually the daughter who is calling her mother her best friend, and it’s usually the mother who feels uncomfortable with that label. She really prefers her daughter to have a peer as her best friend, just as she relies on her best friend to be a peer rather than a daughter. What are the signs a mother and daughter are too close? Linda Perlman Gordon: It really is when the mom enables the daughter to stay dependent when she should be growing up and doing more adult things. A daughter might call her mother and say, “Will you please come to my house? The plumber’s coming,” when her mother works and she works, so they both have equal reasons not to be there for the plumber. The problem is if the mother does that too much. We need to let our daughters feel that they can function in this world alone because the bottom line is, one day we won’t be there. Some women who put off marriage and babies until their 30s remain in a prolonged stage of post-adolescence, you s
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