Who Doesn Love Lists of Arbitrary Things?
[transmission from… Tyler Richardson] Hey everybody, it’s Tyler Richardson again. It’s been so long since we’ve had a sit down and I can barely remember what you look like anymore. Are you still beautiful? Did you grow your hair long? Remember how you used to shove a whole Snickers bar in your mouth and almost choke before you finally got it down your throat… good times. But, I come to you with a list of things that I think you need to see. Compile your own list and let someone important know all the things that you would do if you could. As for me, “If I could I would…” • Grab a peach and chuck it at the first pretty girl that I saw. • Surprise a homeless person with a million dollars. • Tell 13 year old Tyler to be a prick to girls at an earlier age…they like that. • Never listen to a single song by Shaggy. • Grow a ponytail just to be confused with a pimp. • Find out who wrote “Roll Bounce” and stab his dog…. and yes, then him. • Be the first person to own an iPhone.(cause
