Where is David Hasselhoff when Germany needs him most?
Sure, the Germans had Boris Becker and Chancellor Angela Merkel raising the roof in the stands, but they’re just not getting the job done. And that includes Germany’s big players — Michael Ballack and his blast against Austria notwithstanding. Once the gold standard of ruthless efficiency all over the field, the Germans were tested by Poland, humbled by Croatia and stretched by Austria (Austria!). Even though they made it out of their group, confidence in the team is so low that even Franz Beckenbauer, Der Kaiser himself, is betting against them. “Do we have a chance against Ronaldo & Co.?” the legendary German defender wrote in his newspaper column. “Certainly not.” Facing Portugal will be an even more daunting task without their coach, Joachim Low, who has been suspended for Thursday’s quarterfinal match for hurting the referee’s feelings during Germany’s victory over Austria. We don’t know if The Hoff is ready to step in for Low, but Americans seem to think he’s a pretty good judge
