WHERE HAVE ALL THE TATER TOTS GONE?!?!?!
I need me some golden brown crunchy deliciousness! But I can’t find any. Mark will snidely suggest the freezer section of the local grocery store. But who even knows where that is, man! I mean, I like me some potatoes just fine when they’re mashed, home fried, or freedom fried. But I’m a man of discriminating taste. The potato must be tater totted if it’s going to keep good company! For example, did you know that no gay man knows that tater tots is also slang for a women’s areolae. Well, two do, because I’ve accidentally blabbed twice in the past four years… but they promised to keep it under their hats. I bring it up because it makes tater tots the perfect food to nibble on when you’re simultaneously hungry and horny. Also, tater tots are used as currency in schoolrooms, where they’re still served. I remember, because in Kindergarten, the first graders used to trade me for tots. However, like a great famine upon our land, tater tots have disappeared. As usual, I blame conspiracy. Na
