Where does the phrase spare the rod spoil the child come from?
From the Bible, Proverbs 13-24 (King James Version): He that spareth his rod hateth his son. In practice, it means that a child who is brought up without discipline and boundaries will not be helped by that, and will become a confused adult, with no firm foundation. This is not to say the child needs to be physically disciplined, but a person needs a moral code and boundaries to be able to fit into society. A spoilt or ignored child will usually find it difficult to relate well to peers, and will generally be dissatisfied with the constraints imposed by society in general and kick against them. The same is also true of a child who has been disciplined too harshly and regularly put down. The best way to bring up a child, in my opinion, is with demonstrable love, kindness, attention, encouragement and firm boundaries, which can occasionally be relaxed a little. Hopefully the result would be a person who is happy, confident and self-aware and has understanding to see past the surface appe
