Where do you find the balance between restriction and freedom when in a committed relationship?
Well Shila, I never had a problem with commitment. In fact it is exactly what I wanted in the first place. So I got married at 22 years of age and I don’t regret it {now, I am 57}. Yes, you can befriend anyone, man or woman. Nothing says when you make friends, it has to end up in bed. The balance between restriction and freedom is when you respect all the rights that the other person has to be independent of you. Trust is crucial in allowing your partner to be independent and by this I mean, allowing your partner to make decisions right along with your own, in every matter. Let the other person have their freedom and do not be suspicious of them without good cause. Do not place restrictions on the other person! That is, unless you want to accept the very same restrictions. And even if you want some restrictions and accept them, does not mean the other person has to accept them or will. A good way to kill a relationship with another person is to put chains on them and suffocate them, st
You find the balance with trust. My SO and I, we were both friends with people of the opposite sex before we got together, there was no reason to drop those people. I’ve messed around with a few of my guy friends, and he’s messed around with a few of his girl friends but the way we stay from being jealous is our total trust of one another. I trust him completely, I know he loves me and he knows I love him and neither of us want to be with anyone else. And I got over my fear of commitment by falling completely in love. We didn’t commit until we were both in love with each other, and when we reached that love we weren’t afraid anymore. Being in love and trusting each other, I don’t feel restricted at all. If you don’t WANT to be anywhere else, then you don’t feel any restriction and you’re both as free as you ever were. Free and stronger for your bond, not restricted by it. If you feel restricted, then that’s probably not the person you need to be with.
personally, if you are in a committed relationship, you won’t desire to have “freedom”… if you want freedom, you need to let the other person “free” as well so they can find what they need/deserve… if one can’t commit 100 percent, they don’t belong in a relationship with someone who needs 100 percent, that’s the truth…
