Where can I go to try and hurt people safely?
Try going to a judo, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, or mixed martial arts gym. There is always plenty of full-contact sparring, and certainly always a few guys that can handle even a big guy with little problem, especially one that hasn’t trained in years. You’ll certainly have the chance to unleash all of your energy and fight as hard as you can. However, it’s not likely that they’d want to be involved in recreating that specific scenario. If you really feel that you need to recreate that scenario, you need to look more along the lines of big actors in padding. After all, if you really tried to fight off two fully non-compliant guys, they’d beat you, no matter how big or how skilled you are. It sounds like you basically need these two guys to just cover up while you hit them. Before you go through arranging such a legally and logistically difficult event, though, see what a psychiatrist thinks about it if you haven’t already. Still, it might be more helpful and therapeutic overall to regularly
