when i have sexaul experiances why do i cry and make him stop and then sometimes i sont want to but i do anyways and i just lay and cry anyways?
Sorting through our feelings after we’ve been raped or sexually abused can be a love/hate relationship. Sharing in such an intimate way takes a lot of trust on our part. When we are with someone who cares about us logically we know it will be ok. The problem is our emotions haven’t gotten that message yet. It takes time in addition to a supportive atmosphere. Take things slowly. Begin with cuddling, hand holding, etc. Then, graduate to more. When you start to feel uncomfortable stop and honor those feelings. Explain this to your partner ahead of time. Realize also that the two of you may need help to get through this. Counseling can do wonders if both of you are committed to each other and to working this out together.
