When did gardening start to involve heavy breathing?
When did it start looking like I had two pairs of eyelids? When did I start to run like that? When did I start making bathroom visits at the exact same time EVERY SINGLE DAY? And what the hell is THAT? I’m still thin, but the other day I was in the shower (pause while reader creates mental image and overcomes terrible case of the willies) when I noticed I’ve got this little pot. It looks like I’m two months pregnant. I had a vision of my dad (likewise skinny to this day) walking along the beach, his little belly peeking out over his too-skimpy swim trunks. Good Lord! I’m trapped in my father’s body! I know I’m not saying anything new and really I don’t expect any sympathy. Many reading this have long passed the midlife mark and make comparing ailments and prescriptions part of their daily conversational routine. I just don’t feel I’m ready for this. So what’s the remedy? Well, I could exercise more, eat better, take calcium so my teeth don’t crack biting into a piece of tinned asparagu
