what to do about a miles city officer over using his badge in his family
It sounds like this man is effectively abusing his power as an officer. His badge is to be used in the course of his duties and not to harass. He is violating a number of ethics codes that he is charged with upholding.
Get with your "gal pal" and have her get a notebook and begin documenting the abuses. Have her include quotes of what he has said so that it is harder to deny. If she can record some of the conversations then that would be good, too. Any text or voicemail messages that she gets from him should be saved for her defense too. There is nothing against the law in recording telephone conversations in your own home. That will protect her from any FCC violation that he may try to pin on her.
He has no right to control this ex-wife. His actions are deplorable and he should be held accountable for them. She can see whomever she wishes. If he tries to stop this then she can ensure that the significant other is also a witness and she needs to write their name in the book too.
I am not surprised to hear that this officer is abusing his badge. There are psychological problems with many police officers and his behavior appears to show he has them too. He sounds like he is stalking this woman. How else would he know that she is seeing other people? That is another issue in itself. That notebook I mentioned should be divided into sections. One for conversations, one for abuses, one for stalking instances, (time, date, location on each).
Then she can go to the police station and lodge a formal complaint. The more she has written down in the book the more she can do to protect herself. This is a double-edged sword though. Her protecting herself may actually cause her harm. If he is a violent psychopath then it is possible her resistance may lead her to some harm. Install some inexpensive cameras in locations around her home, near easy-access windows and all doors. These can be connected to a VCR or a computer to record any activity around the home.
Protection begins by not being afraid. As long as this officer knows that he can abuse his ex-wife by threats against her then she will never feel safe. She has to take ownership of her fear and find ways to counteract it rather than let it take control of her.
