What skills do lawyers possess that make them better lovers?
Attention to detail. And we do a lot of talking. Are “love contracts” a good thing? They’re total horseshit. People will say, “Oh yeah, let’s break it down,” but one person is always going to be more involved than the other. And this is like a prenuptial agreement — you’re assuming you’re going to break up and that someone is not going to like the other person. Afterward, are you really going to sit there in a meeting and say, “No really, Bill, what do you think?” No. You’re going to be like, “Fuck you, Bill. It doesn’t happen to everyone, and you do have a small penis!” Is there a safe way for me to pursue my boss? No, but it’s always exciting. How could a boss safely pursue someone who works for them? Transfer the person to another department. It’s always going to be terrible and end badly, but it will be the best sex they ever had. When you drunkenly kiss a co-worker at a holiday party, how do you save face the next day? Just bury your head in the sand. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Then
