What should parents focus on when dealing with empty nest syndrome?
Parents should do something they probably haven’t done in at least 18 years: focus on themselves.
From the moment we see the little blue line appear on a home pregnancy test, our every thought points us in the direction of planning for our children. We’ve lived through play dates, immunizations, birthday parties, school and homework, the first date, the first kiss, the first break-up, prom, graduation, and all of those crazy, life-changing, stress-inducing, worry-filled nights. It’s normal to wonder how we’ll ever live without the chaos. It’s normal to miss it.
Go ahead and feel sad, but don’t let it consume you. Your adult children will always be your kids and they will always need you. Don’t be surprised if your relationship with them develops into a profound mutual understanding in ways you never imagined. It will take some getting used to, but in the end, the dynamic may be even more powerful than anything you’ve experienced thus far. In the meantime, decide what you want to do now that the kids have grown up.
Many parents return to college to further an education in their particular field — or change careers altogether. It’s not a mid-life crisis. It’s an opportunity. If you worked to live and support your family, but did not find your job satisfying, it’s time to discover yourself again. Use this time to reflect on your own hopes and aspirations – something you probably haven’t done for many years. Time is finally on your side, so use it to your advantage.
Rediscover romance. Plan a vacation. Spend time with friends. There is a whole world out there and an empty nest does not mean empty life. Your kids are spreading their wings. It’s time to spread yours, too.
