What qualities should every foodie possess?
Food Dude: (1) You need an insatiable desire to be the first one to eat at any new restaurant, and if possible blog every step of the meal along the way, to rub it in all your foodie friends’ faces. (2) You must take lots of pictures so that everyone in the restaurant knows how important you are. (3) You must have a better sense of taste and a greater knowledge of food than any of your friends, and have the ability to look condescending when they say how much they like Olive Garden, even when you secretly crave the bottomless soup and salad yourself. What books and music do foodies enjoy? Books: anything that will look good on your coffee table, and impress your foodie friends. They should be big and glossy, preferably written by famous chefs, and be full of complicated recipes that no one can actually make. You must spend hours rifling the pages to make them look worn—splashing a bit of sauce here and there improves the “I’ve used these recipes” effect. Music: A foodie picks music as
