What is the thesis statement? Does the author need to make the thesis clearer?
I do not see a thesis statement but the thesis is clearly implied in the first paragraph. If the author wants to make the thesis statement a single sentence that can be picked out then its her choice, but it is not necessary for any reader with half a brain. 4. Where in the essay could the author better develop his/her ideas by using examples, comparison-contrast, or cause and effect? The author could describe the services talked about in paragraph 2 and maybe even talk about how well they work, if this information is available. 5. Is each paragraph in the essay unified? Or do some of the paragraphs contain irrelevant sentences or words that need to be omitted? Everything is unified. 6. What paragraphs in the draft, if any, do not support the thesis and need to be omitted? Everything supports the thesis but one thing needs to be omitted because it is untrue. The author says twice that English is Americas official language. This is not true. 7. Is there a place in the essay where the wr
