What is the quickest way to get a music critic in bed?
This is really easy. First you reference something she wrote, telling her how observant it was, noting that it was very courageous of her to speak up like she did. This will make her feel attractive and appreciated. Next, you reference something by a male writer you admire and say you wish you could write like him. This creates the illusion that you are really interested in journalism while projecting an image of humility. Then reference something by another female writer. It helps if she has a friendship and/or competition with this writer. This will let her know that it’s not a one-horse race and that she’d better be on her P’s and Q’s. Finally, you bring it back to her, just to underscore the fact that you’re interested. From there, all you have to do is invite her to your place to check out your back issues of Esquire or your rare music collection. This technique requires some research, but it works without fail. It works so well that I, who had created and perfected this technique
