What is the difference between a amateur balloon artist and an amateur skydiver?
With the amateur balloon artist, you hear “BANG…….Oh Darn! With the amateur skydiver you hear “Oh Darn…. BANG! • “I’d like you to meet my pop.” • For oral inflators: “Whoa, I don’t know about you, but that took *my* breath away.” • “If you step on a balloon, you get a tootsie pop.” • “Call Triple-A!” or, for you do-it-yourselfers, “This’ll be a few minutes while I get out my patch-kit. Anybody got a bucket of water and a jack?” • “Quick! Don’t let that air get away!” • “Well, that saved you the trouble of popping it yourself. One dollar, please.” • “You don’t mind if it’s a little small, do you?” or, for adults, “Women always tell me that size doesn’t matter.” • “Remember, kids, beans and broccoli are a dangerous mix.” • “Oh, you wanted it without the sound effects….?” • “We’ve had our moment of noise, now can we have a moment of silence?” • “Kids, that’s a great metaphor for life.” Refuse to explain further. • “Another Warhol balloon.” or “Another Lichtenstein balloon.” etc. •
