What Is Good Guilt?
Muriel Savikas, PhD, agrees. In her book Guilt Is Good: What Working Moms Need to Know, Savikas acknowledges that society continues to treat guilt as something undesirable. But that’s not really right, she says, because guilt is a natural part of the human makeup and a necessary part of our value system that motivates us to change. According to Savikas, good guilt allows us to look at what we can change and what our goals are. What Is Bad Guilt? Guilt results when we feel bad about a behavior, says Tangney. Shame, on the other hand, is what we feel when we feel bad about ourselves. Guilt encourages us to take action, to right a wrong. Shame is a powerful, overwhelming emotion that results when our internal judge and jury declare us guilty with no hope of salvation. Irrational guilt, feelings of guilt that paralyze us and prevent us from rectifying a situation, is likely to arise from feelings of shame, Tangney says. “Negative guilt is the guilt that allows us to beat ourselves up and t
