What is appropriate small talk for the dance instruction floor?
Having re-read the question, I think there’s a misunderstanding: Engaging conversation, a genuine interest in your dance partner, strong eye contact, open body language… That *IS* “flirting”. And there’s nothing wrong or “inappropriate” about it, but its whole function is to signal attraction. A lot of guys won’t reciprocate for whatever reason, but some will. Such is the dance. Hmmm… Maybe wear a wedding band or engagement ring (or a look-alike** if you’re single) and/or make occasional references to your fiance or husband. Or maybe don’t talk/flirt with the single guys and only chat it up with the couples. At least be ready with the ole “I have a boyfriend” line for when you get asked out. Crap. You’re already “out”. Dancing, even. (You’re making this complicated for me, heh!) If you truly don’t want to communicate (sexual) interest to single guys that you’re dancing with, you’ll need to remain stand-offish. Small-talk only, disinterested eye-contact, etc. Kinda sucks, but there
I didn’t have a problem at the last dance class I attended. You can communicate a lot with body language. If something funny is going on around you, smirk at it and try to get the other person involved with you in that non-verbal topic. Or if you think the dance is going in a particular way that you like, change your facial expression accordingly. As far as actual words, you can make light-hearted small talk about things happening around you. This is kind of silly, and I don’t know how you feel about it, but light-heartedly making fun of people around you can bring you closer… think Pam and Jim’s relationship in The TV Show The Office. Once you’ve established some rapport, you can go to the bar or something later and have a serious convo.
Male swing dancer in early 20’s. A couple of thoughts: Until I became really comfortable dancing (about 2 years in) I had a hard time keeping up much of a conversation while dancing. While dancing I would suggest avoiding any questions that require too much though, since really the focus should be on the dance. I don’t really think there is much awkwardness in not talking during the dance, especially if the music is loud or you are spinning a lot. (When I am trying to talk while dancing I have to change up my style and use easier moves and fewer spins, so that I can do the conversation justice). I have to say that as the conversation goes any further than polite conversation that I would begin to interpret it as interest in me. If you are just looking to dance you really only need minimal conversation unless it is someone you’ve been dancing with for a while. If a girl seems like she wants deeper conversation, then it suggests interest in me rather than interest in dancing, and unless
The problem is that you have no context, zero history with the stranger, the dance partner in question. So you have two choices: A. start with generic smalltalk “wow the weather’s really cold” and build conversation from their responses “yeah, but it’s nothing like Michigan”, “Really? I went to school in Michigan. What part are you from?” etc., etc OR B. “Astroturf” the conversation with pre-fabbed material. For guys talking with girls, anything regarding relationships is good stuff, “Do you think it’s weird to date your best friend’s ex?” “Yes/No/blahblah” “Reason I ask is my cousin is seeing this guy…” I’m not sure what most guys would want to talk about, given that you know nothing them, but maybe music, sports, etc. If you don’t have any good stories to share, make some up. (Then immediately get out living your life so you’ll have some great stories!) Ideally, in an engaged conversation, you’ll mix the two: riff off their answers, adding experiences/questions/material of your own
