What in the Wide World of Sports is Going On?
The Los Angeles Lakers’ Shaquille O’Neal versus the Chicago Bulls’ Brad Miller, live at the Mandalay Bay Casino. Charles Oakley, the joker in this volatile mix, plans on backing Miller up with a folding chair and right forearm to boot. I can see the headlining event now: Shaq Stacked versus the Bull Pack. Smells like another Chicago victory, with Big Aristotle on the ground counting his brain cells away. I think, I think not. And I can see the card fights now too: an eating contest between Charles Barkley and Arizona Cardinals kicker, Bill Gramatica. Barkley, who scarfed down his trainer as an hors d’oeuvre an hour before the opening bell and washed him down with a gallon of jungle juice, can barely fit a hazelnut down his throat. Gramatica senses victory. The elated Argentine then jumps up from the dining table and skips to his lue before tearing his other ACL. Ho-hum. To add insult to injury, guest analyst Jeff Van Gundy quits while Gramatica is sprawling in guttural pain on the parq
