What happened to the Megalodon Shark?
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He was carjacked outside a 7-11 in South Central LA, but that’s not the worst of it.
While using a pay phone to call the police, he was infected with flesh eating bacteria and his hands dissolved before he could even dial the number.
But wait; there’s more!
While using his nose to complete the call to the police, he developed a nosebleed and–well, you know how big those Megalodon sharks are, right? A nosebleed can make one hell of a mess, and the intersection of Vermont and MLK flooded.
All of the businesses flooded with blood, and one of them happened to sell shortwave radios. The crimson tide–so to speak–caused a short circuit in one of the ham radios on display, and it started transmitting randomly.
One of the signals it sent was aimed toward the Ceti Alpha star system, and the oscillating tones just happened to sound exactly like the speech patterns of the royal heir to Ceti Alpha 6 (which did not explode, as Khan Noonien Singh claimed, the lying scum), who had gone missing the year before and was presumed kidnapped or dead. In one of the greatest coincidences in galactic history, the oscillating tones perfectly mimicked the royal heir insisting that his people come and rescue him, and that he might look like a giant weird shark when they found him.
Using their Quantum Slingshot (which strongly resembles the one used by Bart Simpson, only ten thousand times bigger and coupled with a Dustbuster and a woman’s vibrator), they propelled a rescue team to the intersection of MLK and Vermont. Because they traveled faster than light, they actually arrived before theMegalodon completed his phone call with his not-yet-bleeding nose.
The Ceti Alphans grabbed the Megalodon (who fought back, of course) and–against his fierce protests–returned to their home planet with him. Of course, taking him from the phone booth before his nosebleed and the subsequent flood, this created a paradox that unraveled the fabric of space-time and the universe came to an end.
And that’s what happened to the Megalodon… and everything else.
Some people believe that they might have survived a lot longer and might have been around till the early 1900s. @@@@@ Environmental changes were as important as any for the demise of this creature. By the late Miocene, about 10 million years ago, a period of major glaciation was under way. This was, it seems, the result of changes going back to the late Oligocene Period that began a slow cooling effect on the world. Changes like Africa colliding with Europe, cutting off the Tethyan Seaway to individual bodies of water represented today by the Mediterranean, Black, Caspian, and Aral seaways. Also, the Indian subcontinent crashed into Asia, which formed the Himalayas. All these movements, over time, seriously altered global patterns of wind and rain which reduced the temperature at mid-latitudes by 27o Fahrenheit. This effect, in turn, brought about major glaciations at the Poles by the late Miocene. This glaciation resulted in the lowering of sea levels by about 650 feet. Through lowere
