What grief issues are associated with adoption?
All members of the adoption circle (birth parents, adoptive parents, and children) experience loss and grief. Birth parents lose the opportunity to parent their biological child. Adoptive parents miss the opportunity for biologic connection with the child they love and, if the child is older at placement, miss the opportunity to start parenting the child in infancy. Children lose the experience of being parented by their biologic parents. Children adopted internationally also lose their country of origin. All children who are adopted become part of a minority group. Loss and grief for children who were adopted results from separation. At some time, even children adopted as infants, realize that they are separated from the parent who gave them birth. They will need to find an answer for the question, “Why did this happen?” or, more pressing for many children, “Why did this happen to me?” They experience a loss of what was and also a loss of what might have been. Children who experience
