What exactly is Fireland Text Products, Inc.?
Oh ho ho! You must be reading this on your laptop in that cave you’ve been hiding out in! Well, if you insist: It all started in 1995 when I was sitting in a K-Mart in Des Moines, IA, using a Magnum black marker to write long, personal manifestos on the slick, lemony, tile floors. Although I was heavily fined by a manager, one of the K-Mart patrons commented on my immaculate spelling. That’s when it hit me: There’s an audience out there for my endless reams of text! But how to get that text to the widest number of people possible? After a couple of misguided attempts at TV news media coverage (about which the less said the better), I stumbled upon the idea of a website for fast, cheap dissemination, and the rest in history. Fireland Text Products, Inc. now has factories all over the world, creating top-notch writing for you to enjoy. I think my employees have done an excellent job at capturing the simple, primitive, raw nature of that original scrawl on the floor of K-Mart.
