What does in mean, in plain language, to violate a gender norm?
It means there are very, very rigid rules, unspoken rules–and, in some cases, spoken rule–about what is okay for a boy or girl to do or say. They’re imposed on children at a very young age, and children know these things. It’s incorporated into their self-image from as early as kindergarten or first grade, I believe. Kids who don’t fit in, whether they can’t or they choose not to, are relentlessly tortured at this day-to-day level by their peers. And not much is telling the peers that it’s not okay to be doing this kind of harassment. In some of your work, you mentioned that the perpetrators felt like they were enforcing gender norms. What does that mean? Perpetrators feel that they are entitled, if not expected, to help to punish people who are stepping out of bounds for their male role or their female role. In one example, I asked a young man why he had committed an anti-gay crime, and he said, “This man was wearing lipstick and high heels. What do you expect me to do?” Within his
