WHAT DO STEPPARENTS SAY?
Perhaps the best advice comes from the parents and stepparents who have made it work! In a study by Duhl5 families that have succeeded in creating a healthy remarriage and developing strong bonds with children gave the following advice to people embarking on this journey of family-making: • Go slow. Take time. Settle your old marriage (divorce) before you start a new one. Accept the need for continual involvement of parts of the old family with the new. Help children maintain relationships with biological parents. • Stepparents should try for mutual courtesy, but not expect a child’s love. Respect the special bond between biological parent and child. • Communicate, negotiate compromise, and accept what cannot be changed. In the end fathering and mothering are a result of the time and effort we put into it. It is true that anyone can be a biological “parent”. But we all know of far too many cases where there are natural parents but no true parenting. Stepparenting is always a conscious
