What causes someone to be abusive, and can they change or is it a mental wiring thing?
That’s not just emotional abuse you described here. Any kind of pushing or pulling amidst his anger is considered as physical abuse. I have been through an abusive relationship, too, so I know exactly how you feel. Just like you, I have tried to psychoanalyze him, too. And this is what I have learned from experience: 1. It’s just what the abuser has learned from his parents’ relationship role model. Most likely, the dad treated the mom that way. A person’s emotional programming is 80% established by the time they’re 8 years old (50% by age 3 and 95% by age 18). So whatever parental relationship interaction he grew up with, he thinks that’s the norm. He thinks that’s how a man should treat a woman. 2. Most likely, his mom (or whoever took the motherly role) was abusive toward him in childhood years, too. A mother’s role is supposed to be the nurturer. But if the nurturer is abusive in any way, that’s what shaped his idea of what love should be like. This same principle applies if the nu
