What can a borderline do about the shame they feel?
One must heal the shame that binds them. To do this one must first be able to both recognize and hold some awareness of the shame that can often be at the core of all of the presenting emotions that make up borderline dsyphoria. Since the shame has its roots in frozen hurt and unresolved conflict much of the healing of it requires feeling and holding what Bradshaw refers to as “original pain”. Once the pain is felt and accepted into conscious awareness it must be expressed. When one takes responsibility for it — owns it and does not seek to just dump it on the person nearest them or to make it someone else’s problem then and only then is it possible to feel the pain that is motivating the shame. This pain must be felt and expressed in order to break the cycle of shame and the subsequent borderline dysphoria. Healthy expression of such pain must include grieving it. Weeping is the most freeing expression that there is. One can also journal about the pain. It is also helpful to have a t
