WHAT ARE SOME TYPICAL MISTAKES MADE WHEN DEALING WITH CONFLICT?
Most often, conflict becomes a problem when family members respond in ineffective ways. Here are some examples of nonproductive responses to conflict: • Avoid the conflict. If I don’t talk about how much the repair cost, maybe he’ll forget about it. • Change the subject. Yes, I got the car fixed. What a relief! Oh, yes—let me show you Lisa’s grades! • React emotionally. Become aggressive, abusive, hysterical, or frightening. Stop criticizing me! I’m sick of you picking on me! Leave me alone! • Find someone to blame. Well, if you wouldn’t have waited so long to get it fixed, it wouldn’t have cost so much. • Make excuses. Lisa’s grades are bad because of that horrible teacher. It isn’t her fault. The teacher has her completely intimidated. • Let someone else deal with it. Carmen, will you ask Amanda to turn the stereo down? “All of these responses to conflict have two things in common: they are all nonproductive and destructive, some physically. This is why learning to manage conflict is
