What are some typical circumstances that cause a man to feel shame?
Maybe his father or mother criticized him at a crucial age; maybe he was told he was stupid or ugly; maybe his father was very successful and he never felt he could measure up; maybe he was spanked or yelled at in front of other kids when he misbehaved; or he had a learning disability. Most of us have experiences in our past that caused us to feel ashamed. And once that shame ball gets rolling it’s hard to stop. Men and women hide their feelings of shame and often isolate themselves or choose other behaviors that will guarantee they don’t get involved in intimate relationships. Shame is a secret. We don’t talk about feeling ashamed. We just carry it with us, secretly. And here’s another piece of information that John Bradshaw shared in his book “Healing the Shame that Binds You”: rejection, to people with shame, feels like annihilation. Annihilate means “to destroy completely.” Men can feel like they will be annihilated, completely destroyed if they get rejected. So there is no way, wi
