What advice is there for dealing with a marriage separation?
Separation is hard because it seems like your relationship is in “limbo”. I suggest taking action. You can’t work on your marriage alone and it seems as though since this opportunity didn’t work out for your husband to cheat, it’s only a matter of time before he is attracted to a different woman who might be a more willing candidate. Sounds like you need to proceed with divorce. Yes, you will still have feelings to deal with during and after the divorce but at least you will be on a track to some closure. Separation is just a painful waiting game when you know the relationship isn’t going to work out. Be glad you didn’t start a family with a man who couldn’t put family first and be faithful. Good Luck!
I would doubt very much that your husband is telling you the whole truth. This sounds like a man having an emotional and possibly also physical affair. Why don’t you fight for your marriage? If you don’t fight you may regret it. Most counsellors have no clue about how to save marriages and a separation is the worst possible thing you could do. The best advice for saving marriages that I know of can be found at www.marriagebuilders.com. They have books, webpages and a forum. The site is full of people whose marriages were saved. Dr Harley makes it a very simple series of steps, he says affairs are like addictions and that most people deeply regret them once they are in recovery. This man married you, he wanted to be with you because you were the woman for him. You will find that he still feels this way once the addiction has gone. And learn how to affair proof your marriage!
First of all, your husband has made it clear that his ambitions are more important than you. Secondly, he has cheated on you – even if it hasn’t actually happened yet, he wants it to be so – its the same result. You cannot be in a marriage alone – you both have to want the same things. I think your husband does not see you as supportive in his ambitions? For some reason he feels trapped and held back. The best thing you can do is to take positive, bold steps. I think you are right to put the house on the market and buy yourself something new and very much yours. Pursue your own objectives for a while – live well – go out with friends and family whenever possible – news will get back to husband that you are doing rather well without him. At some point, he will wonder if he has done the right thing. If he does approach you for a reconcilliation, make sure you know exactly what he expects from you and tell him what you expect back before making any new relationship plans. If he does not a
