Theologically, what did that mean?
I believed in God, but the ways in which I could conceive of God didn’t really have anything to do with the idea of the Trinity. I mostly understood God as the Father; I could understand the Holy Spirit as essentially the same entity, without drawing too much of a distinction between them, except maybe in the sense that the two aspects represented different sets of attributes and different functions in our lives. But for as long as I can remember, I didn’t relate to Jesus at all. No matter how much I heard (or read) about other people’s “relationship with Jesus,” Jesus still never seemed real to me — not in the same way that my conception of God as a whole seemed real. When I thought of Jesus at all, it was as a human being, if a unique one. Alternatively, I could even believe that Jesus was somehow part of God, like a disguise that God was using to look through our eyes. But that wasn’t the same thing as perceiving a separate personality Jesus who was supposed to be this greatest fri
