Speaking of food, is there life beyond boxed macaroni and cheese and Ramen noodles?
In general, stick to the essentials. But when trying to impress that special lady in your life, splurge a little on Chef Boy-R-Dee. Rumor has it he was trained at the Culinary Institute of America. In any event, this works out doubly well for you. You’ll have a swoon-worthy Beefaroni dinner that the anorexic sorority girls won’t touch, meaning more for you. When it comes to wine, try to avoid the screw-off top. Nothing says “I want your sex” like a cork popping from a bottle. Once they’ve wooed their paramour, any culture hints on making it a night to remember? There is more to music than the Dave Matthews Band. While he has some decent ballads, jam bands are not meant for jammin’ between the sheets. I’m not saying you need to work in some of the first ladies—Cher, Bette, Madonna, Celine. That’s a bit much for the Greek scene. But try to inject some estrogen into the mix. Think Moby. Assuming the night goes well, and well into morning, how does the successful frat boy keep fresh before
