So, John, how was the Van Halen reunion tour actually gone?
John Moe: Overwhelmingly successful, Bill. Tremendously positive reviews, full arenas, everybody seems to think the band is stronger and better than ever. They rock just as hard. It’s a raging success, which, obviously, has me deeply concerned and troubled. How’s that? Well, it’s like a zombie movie, Bill. The dead have risen from their graves and are feasting on the brains of the living. We need old bands to stay extinct, otherwise new bands and new culture cannot rise up and prosper. So with this revitalized Van Halen, the natural order of things is disrupted. The Dave Clark Five may as well go back on tour. “Gunsmoke” should be put back on the air. The rules of culture no longer apply, and therefore, culture is bound to collapse. And when culture collapses, Bill, I don’t have to tell you that civilization is next. So a restored Van Halen? Yes, a threat to global civilization. John, do you think you might be overreacting? No. Not a chance. So what are you going to do about it? You tr
