Should my kids go to a Unitarian Universalist church?
I grew up Unitarian Universalist in Dallas, TX. My mother was the director of religious education at our church for a trillion years. My father was the president of our church at one point, and sat on several committees (UU churches have secular leadership). I attended church religiously (ha) from birth to college. It’s my impression that the degree of spirituality varies by geographic area (they are more religious-y in the northeast for example), and by congregation (you might shop around if that’s an option), and zeitgeist (can’t really change that one, sorry). I did leave the church, and I’m not sure that UUism really fits me anymore, though I highly recommend that you (or anyone interested) check out a few churches before writing it off, especially if you are looking for a community. As far as my experiences as a child, it was not a theistic upbringing in the slightest, and the community was by far the most important part of it. Indeed, my family’s social life revolved around the c
Re: kids and religion – I spent 12 years in Catholic school. I started doubting early on, gave up as much Catholic practice as I could get away with, and am now atheist. My point is that your child is likely to make his or her own choices about religion, especially since you are religion-free. My family tried hard to make me a Catholic, but it didn’t work at all. I completely understand the need for community, and I think the UUs would be a fine choice. Visit first to see if you like the community. I raised my child with no religion. I have always offered to support him if he chooses any religious faith. He went to a church-related camp weekend with a bit of proselytizing, but he has shown little interest in religion. As noted, talking to your kids about your values is a good plan.
the kids I met were way more interesting, intelligent, cultured and open-minded than those I met at school. That’s something I should have mentioned, and might be useful in floating your decision, if your wife is saying that she’s interested in a community for your kids, as well as herself. I’ve been able to watch a smallish group of kids grow up during the nine years I’ve been at my UU church. Two of them, I mentored through the “affirmation” process that’s offered to them in their early teens, which is sort of kin to a Catholic confirmation and Jewish bar/bat mitzvah and sort of not, because it truly encourages the kids to explore and develop their own religious and/or ethical belief systems and figure out where they fit into the UU religion (if they do at all). All these kids–not just the ones I knew more closely than the others–were extremely bright, self-aware, kind and articulate, most likely the kind of kids you’d probably LIKE your kids to hang around with. I suspect that tha
I grew up UU, but drifted away as I got older. I second the description of religious education as being sort of a survey course of other religions. I found it fascinating, and it helped me understand that no single religion had a monopoly on The Truth or ethics / morals, etc. Plus, frankly, some religious stories are rather good and highlight things like duty, right conduct, love, peace, tolerance, values, and so on in an illuminating way. I think that being able to see some value in these traditions myself helped me be a lot more tolerant towards my friends in school who were of other religions. I didn’t believe in god myself, nor did I think of religious people as The Enemy or completely insane or anything. I could sort of understand some of why they believed, and what their traditions did for them, because some of it (a little here, a little there) resonated with me as well. I think this can really be a valuable lesson in respect for kids to learn. Face it – your kids are going to h
This may come across as an overly harsh opinion of religion, but here it is: Going to church as a child had much to do with why I am an athiest today. The angriest, saddest, and most-cruel people I know are devout. In my experience, once the veneer of welcome wears away, any church is generally aswarm with power-struggles and hypocrites. As a small example – I have witnessed church choirs behaving unethically to assure their supremacy at an “important” service. It’s not the community I’d choose to introduce the concept of “community” to my children. It might be the sort of community I’d use to introduce concepts like “duplicity” and “wilfull ignorance” As far as the accepting politeness of the UU churches goes, I tend to not be politely accepting of any advocations of spiritualism, even if it is not theism, so I’m at a loss as to why anyone would bother to go to a “church” if they were a non-spiritual person. But that’s just me, and I could be wrong.
